Looking for a job is a job in itself

The wild hunt for a job and the quiet panic of not being good enough

Once upon a time, 24,000 B.C (I just made up the number) there was a naked caveman with a long beard painting on his wall when he heard a weird noise behind him and turned to his friend.

- Did you just fart?

- Hey we are not supposed to know English yet. We are homo sapiens.

- Oh! Uh... Blah Blah Bulg Grugy Bulga?

- What is that supposed to mean?

- You said we weren't supposed to know English yet. Did you forget?

- Yeah we are homo sapiens. We forget a lot.

- Man why do we still speak English?

A little bit later…

- Wanna go mammoth hunting?

- With what?

- Let’s just play it like we always do. You distract it, I throw the spear.

They walk out of the cave. Ten minutes later, they're running back in screaming.

- WHY DIDN’T YOU THROW THE SPEAR?!

- I PANICKED! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TWENTY FIVE DAMN MAMMOTHS IN THERE.

Whoever called it job "hunting" is a genius.

Sometimes I feel like a naked homosapien facing a mammoth with nothing but a handmade spear.

You know what makes it worse?

They’re asking for things sometimes that don’t make any sense.

Like asking for 3 years of experience for a junior position and I don't have that.

I've been developing for more than that now but apparently, if you haven’t worked at a company, you don’t count. You and your stupid "side projects." You aren’t worth a dime until you are stumped like a sheep by a company: “Worthy" or “Not Worthy”.

I've seen people say they send 500+ applications and honestly, I don't get it. Do you really have time for that? Like... how?

That's way too much.

I've only sent a few applications and I don't have no more energy to send any more.

Whenever I think about applying again I think that I'd rather build a project on my own in my cave... I mean bedroom.

Looking for a job is a job in itself. It's a job where your job is to look for a job so you can stop doing the job of looking for a job and finally have a real job. Job.

Does that make sense?

So do I have an alternative?

Yes, indie hacking.

Am I sure it's a good one?

No. I have no clue if I am going to make it.

There is a possibility I will but there is also a bigger one that I won't.

And if I don't, what's gonna happen?

Well I'll end up homeless. Looking for food in trash cans.

I still to this day don't know what companies are really looking for.

I could build my own AWS - well I don't have the skills and the time to build such a fat project but let's just use our imagination and say that I built it already and put that on my resume and let's even say that they gave it a try, their response could still be:

"I don't care."

- So you won't give me a chance? I can prove myself here, I promise.

"What? ME giving YOU a chance? Yeah you can kiss my ass."

- Kiss your ass? Is that the kind of job you guys are doing here?

Now jokes aside, how did the interviewer got into that position in the first place? Didn't someone give them a chance by hiring them?

People just act like they were born like that. They completely forget that years ago they were juniors too and they were ready to do anything and everything just to get hired by someone.

Bunch of hypocrits!

And that’s not the only thing that bothers me about the whole process.

I also want to mention those companies requiring your phone number in their application form.

I did give my phone number a couple of times and I really hope I would never get a call.

You don't think I'm worth being hired? Email me. But for God's sake don't call me.

I don't really feel comfortable talking on the phone.

I forget my own native language when I'm on the phone. Let alone speak English.

And speaking of getting emails, I got scammed so many times.

I read the subject lines of their replies and they are almost all like this:

"Thanks for... "

"Update on your... "

"Exciting opportunities at... "

and then when I open them they are all just rejections.

I'd rather be told I'm being rejected right from the beginning than be given a little moment of excitement and joy and then have it taken away from it. It feels like when you are about to hug your little girl and she slaps you in the face. Just like that.

Just put "you are rejected, dumbass" in the subject line. Period.

I don't mind being rejected because I've always been rejected since I was born. But just be honest and don't waste my time.

But even with all the struggle I still want to struggle in tech than struggle in any other field.

I don't know if I should say this but...

I feel better knowing there are others still struggling.

It makes me feel less... alone.

Am I a bad person for feeling this way?

I don’t know. You tell me.

I'm not giving up but I'm also not expecting anything from any company. I would even be surprised if a company wants to interview me. A weird introverted and socially awkward guy.

But I only need to be given a chance.

Once somebody gives me a chance, I give everything in return. And more.

I kind of regret not applying to internships while I was a student too.

Looking for a job with prior internship experience is much easier than looking for a job without it so I think I am screwed.

But I'll see what I can do.

I could talk about this topic for days but I know you have your life too and you got better things to do than read everything that weird guy is thinking.

Talk later

Amine