I drove a car for the first time 🚗

I drove a car for the first time.

In the city.

With no driving license.

The instructor skipped all introductions.

He just handed me the keys and said:

"Go ahead. End us both."

That was THE MOST UNEXPECTED first driving lesson ever.

And don't blame me if I am scared of driving a car.

When my dad forgets his phone in the car and sends me to get it I find myself talking to the car.

"Hey I don't want no trouble. I just want to get the phone and I'll go. That's all... Thank you."

I think that if I am behind the wheel and I cough the car would start and speed up by itself.

Goddamit! I always get out of topic!

So I took a seat in class and waited for like 5 minutes and then an instructor came:

- "Come on! We are going on a ride."

I was like "Why not."

- Get in!

Then he got in the passenger seat.

Uh... what?

- Do I sit in the back or...

I thought somebody else was going to join us.

- No. The driver's seat.

- What?

- Yeah. You're driving today.

Okay now you gotta be kidding me!

I was just standing there thinking the guy was just joking but he looked so serious.

- Uh... this is my very first time here. I never drove a car before.

- Yeah I know. You're gonna do it now.

Oh hell no!

I was expecting something more like,

"This is called a car. A car is used to get us from point A to point B."

But no. Straight to action.

- But I just signed up. I don't know how to drive and I don't know what to...

- Don't worry. Don't you trust me?

- I... I do.

Actually no. Not one bit.

And when I sat behind the wheel, I was expecting to see another wheel in front of the instructor in the passenger seat too.

Nope. Nothing.

Great. Just great.

What is this day?

Some time later...

- You are doing good so far. You are calm....

Oh am I? 😒

- ... doing better than most. Many people are so scared in their first day that they sh*t their pants.

Well he didn't really say "sh*t their pants".

Truth is I wasn't calm at all.

I am a pretty good actor.

I know how to hide my emotions.

No matter how scared or sad or heartbroken I usually try to hide it.

I just don't want to make fun of myself.

I was going 30km/h but it felt 100.

I felt like Vin Diesel - minus the bald head, the muscles, the deep voice and the confidence - in the middle of Fast & Furious.

Except the movie cars were jokes compared to what I felt I was doing.

Plus those were just movies and there were specialized stuntmen and very professional safety teams involved.

The instructor didn't look like he gave a sh*t about any safety because he kept telling me:

- Speed up. Speed up.

Bro shut up! We are about to die.

If this was just a game and I could restart from the beginning after crashing the car I would have intentionally crashed it just to scare the sh*t out of him.

Then he was like "turn left", "turn right".

I was simply turning the wheel right or left like I was driving a GTA car.

No slowing down in turns or turning on signals. I still don't know how I didn't flip the car upside down in the middle of the road.

And he was like "oh no, slow down, turn on the right signal, watch out for the red car."

Man do you want me to keep my eyes on the road? Or watch out for other cars? Or turn? Or slow down? Or speed up? Or turn on signals?

And then when we were almost back to school and he saw an old lady about to cross the road, he told me the least funny and least hilarious joke I've ever heard:

- "Hit that old lady", while rubbing his hands.

I still to this day have no idea how did he come up with that idea and thought it was funny

Like I was gonna go, “Haha, yeah, let’s do it. She only has three days left anyway.”

The instructor was so annoying. I wish there was an "Eject" button so I could just throw him off into the sky.

I'm not gonna lie to you but at some point I was really scared.

But after all I knew he is just like that. He tries to be the funny guy so students would feel more relaxed with him but in my case it made me even more scared for my life.

But it was a pretty good first lesson. Kind of. I drove on the road for the first time in my life. So THAT was something.

Talk soon.

Do you drive too? Share something funny that happened to you while driving.